Today I want to talk about privilege: what it is, what it’s not, and what effect it has on our daily lives.

So what is privilege? Merriam-Webster defines privilege as “a right or immunity granted as a peculiar benefit, advantage, or favor.” A good baseline, but not quite what we’re talking about. Privilege, at least on a societal level, can be defined as “benefits or advantages certain people enjoy largely through none of their own doing.” For example, Jeff Bezos’ kids are privileged. Why? They did nothing to contribute to Jeff Bezos’ wealth, being that they weren’t even twinkles in Jeff’s eye at the time Amazon took off, but they still enjoy the perks of having the richest man in the history of mankind as your dad.

The key aspect to societal privilege is it can’t be earned. For example, I am an able-bodied, heterosexual cisgender male. These statuses give me privilege, but I did nothing to earn any of these privileges: I didn’t choose to be born with masculine body parts, without deformities, disabilities or chronic illnesses, and without gender dysphoria or non-heterosexual desires. But I still enjoy the perks of having all of those statuses.

Speaking of statuses, the nature of those statuses are one thing that make privilege so hard to discuss. If I can play devil’s advocate for a second, privileged and marginalized things tend to have two different views of privilege. Privileged people tend to think strictly in class privilege: think the 2019 college cheating scandal, where it was revealed dozens of celebrities had bribed big-name schools to cut corners for their children’s admission, or all the times rich people have waved money to make their problems go away. Hence the most common rebuttal to being privileged, “What do you mean, I’m privileged? My life has had struggles!”

Being rich is definitely a form of privilege, but it’s not the only kind.

To understand why, I’d like to throw out a third way of thinking about it: privilege means not having problems other people do, for no reason of your own doing. One comparison I’ve heard is that privilege is like playing a video game on easy mode. You still have problems, but they’re more easily resolved and some problems, like tough bosses or needing to manually restore your health, aren’t there at all.

Most of the examples I’m about to give are examples of privilege by absentia (yeah, that’s what I’m going to call it).

Examples of Different Types of Privilege

White Privilege

• If you are a white person, you are always treated as an individual. If, for example, you open fire on a church service with the explicit intent of starting a race war or drive a car through a crowd, your violent actions are never a reflection on white society and will likely be chalked up to mental illness or the failures of society. Heck, some very powerful people will go out of your way to call you a ‘very fine person.’
• White=default. Your average anything–book, movie, TV show, video game–will feature a straight white protagonist. “History” classes are focused on the action and historical significance of white people, while the history of black, Latinx and LGBT people are relegated to dedicated months on the subjects or elective classes. Even the majority of beauty products are made to complement white skin.
• There’s a presumption of innocence with white offenders that PoC offenders do not receive. Dylann Roof was apprehended after murdering 9 people with the murder weapon still on him, but was arrested nonviolently and then taken out to eat when he told the cops he was hungry. Meanwhile, the list of heinous crimes black people have been killed for include, but are not limited to: selling loose cigarettes, using counterfeit money, buying junk food, playing with a toy gun, complying during a traffic stop, exercising, eating dessert in their own home, sleeping in their own home, and stopping a mass shooting. Brock Turner was caught in the act of rape and served three months. The Central Park Five were framed for a rape and served hard time for crimes none of them were even tangentially involved in.
• What is “trashy” or “ghetto” when done by people of color is not so when done by white people. For example, twerking, a dance style created by African-American women, was only acknowledged as a dance style when white singer Miley Cyrus twerked at a 2013 awards show, and despite the numerous Hispanic people ordered to “speak English!” in the presence of white people, it’s newsworthy when a white toddler is bilingual.
• And finally, if you are a white person, the police are a protective force rather than a tool of oppression with a history of brutalizing and killing people who look like you with little or no provocation.

For a more in-depth list, see here and here.

Male Privilege

• If you are a man (and myself is included in this), the concern of being victimized is not omnipresent. You do not worry about being dragged into a dark alley when you’re walking at night. You don’t worry about getting murdered when you shoot down someone’s advances. People don’t yell sexually charged comments at you from cars or walk up to you and demand you smile.
• Your existence is not treated as a motivating factor. If you are a man, you will likely never be told to cover up your body to avoid distracting women. You can get drunk without being concerned about being taken advantage of, wear whatever you want without worrying about hearing that dreaded question, “But what were you wearing?” and go to a social event or a date without setting up a social safety net.
• In the workplace, you are unlikely to be harassed. Any promotions will be presumed to have been earned and not coerced out of a supervisor with sexual favors. You will always be paid fairly. Having children is not a career-defining/ending move.
• And finally, your sex life says nothing about you as a person. And if you decide to murder people you don’t know because you can’t get laid, there’s a whole Internet subculture who will treat you as a saint.

For a more in-depth list, see here.

Straight Privilege

• Much like white skin, society treats heterosexuality as the “default.” Your relationship, if it is ever judged, will likely be on things like compatibility or emotional health and never with descriptions like “unnatural,” “deviant” and “abomination.” It is always assumed your sexuality is natural and never came through something like abuse or a desire to push some kind of agenda.
• The list of people who have been disowned by their family for being straight is a short, short list, if it even exists.
• Your sexuality will never be held against you–for example, you will not be excluded from organizations and your home will never be deemed an “unsafe environment” to adopt based on the people who make it up.
• There are not laws in 28 of 50 states making it legal to fire you based on who you are dating, married to, or attracted to.
• And finally, you can express affection to your loved ones without it possibly being a motivation for a hate crime.

For more in-depth lists, see here and here.

Cisgender Privilege

For those not in the know, to be cisgender means that you identify with the gender you were identified with at birth. Therefore, men who identify as male and women who identify as female. Moving on…

• Gendered facilities (i.e. bathrooms, locker rooms) are not an insurmountable challenge to you. There are no bills demanding you use a certain bathroom.
• Deadnaming? What’s that?
• Your sexual attractiveness and ability to come off as the gender you identify as is not a worn-out hackneyed joke that comedy writers have fallen back on for decades.
• Speaking of attraction, flirting with who you’re attracted to comes with a significantly reduced likeliness of being rejected or even physically harmed.
• And finally, there are not sects of people who see dating people with your gender identity as exotic or some kind of kink.

For a more in-depth list, see here.

Able-Bodied Privilege

• You have likely never worried whether you will be able to access a building.
• You can turn on the TV or watch a movie knowing that people like you will have a personality and not be there as a plot device to change the lives of main characters, be a token breaker of the status quo, or be the focus of a Very Special Episode.
• Physical ability-related insults (i.e. “retarded,” “autistic,” “spastic”) do not apply to you.
• And finally, at no point in history was your existence seen as a burden on society or something to be exterminated.

For a more in-depth list, see here.

There’s a saying I’ve heard a lot in Christian circles that I think might help you think about this: “be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle.”

If you read the lists I wrote out or followed the links and said, “Huh?” at any point, that’s exactly what I’m talking about. Your PoC, disabled or LGBT friends and loved ones will have struggles that would never cross your mind merely for existing. Keep that in mind the next time you join a conversation about hot-button topics. What might be a bullet-point list to you may be someone else’s life experiences.

Conclusion?

Give your friends who belong to marginalized groups some grace.

Speak up for the less fortunate.

And DO. BETTER!

(I got that from a guy I follow on Instagram. Give him a check-out @shymonroe.)

Resources on Privilege

Articles

• The National Association of School Psychologists, “Understanding Race and Privilege”
• Global Citizen, “Why It’s Important to Think About Privilege–and Why It’s Hard”
• Inclusive Teaching at the University of Michigan, “An Instructor’s Guide to Understanding Privilege”

Videos

• Tim Wise, “White Privilege: Racism, White Denial and the Cost of Inequality”

Books

• Beverly Daniel Tatum, “Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?” And Other Conversations About Race

Feel free to let me know about any resources you think I should add to this list!